Why I have (always had) an authority problem

As I tried to leave Righetti's Campus by the front door today as I've been doing for 3 weeks, I was shouted at by the people working who said I could no longer exit there.  Sick of this kind of treatment, I confronted someone.  I was hoping to be treated like a human but I was treated like a child.

I asked why I couldn't go through and they said because it was disruptive.  Then I asked, since that was the case, why don't you unlock a gate in the 600 block for people who have to go that way?  As usual, they did not even try to answer my question but instead told me to go over to Hutton.  I did and the goddamm office was locked.  This school is a disgrace.  The people in these offices couldn't care less about us.

The worst part was the way this guy I talked to tried to humiliate me in front of 5 people.  As two guys exited the front, he yelled and went after them.  Turns out it was his son and a friend so naturally it's fine,  while I was still blocked from leaving.  I said "So it's okay when it's your kid?  All right, goodbye."  I tried to leave then and he called me back.  He asked if I was ok in a tone that sounded not like he cared about me, but like he was establishing his authority.  Then he called me out for my shaking hands, an issue that I have had and been insecure about for years.  Feeling like shit, I left the office and walked out the 100 block gate.  Then I walked back in the opposite direction to my car.

"A gate isn't worth getting worked up about," he told me.  I disagree.  It's not about the gate but the fact that I was harassed and treated like I was subhuman. 

I wanted to put this here because I have constantly been treated poorly by the people in Righetti's office and by security.  They have no respect, nor do they pretend to.  Dr. Preston seems to be one of the few teachers on campus who gives a shit about this kind of thing so I figured it would be fine to post it here.

I'm sick of the intimidation they employ by getting in your face, and I'm sick of the disgust I can see in their eyes every time they look at me.
I just want these condescending administrators and faculty to treat me like I am a fucking person.
It's the least they can do.

I have always hated authority because I have been in so many situations like this.  I guess that's just the type of person I am.  I will never be okay with people talking down to me like that.  If you are irritated about a school policy, speak up.  They want you to think you're insignificant and can do nothing to make a change, but that isn't true.  When they piss you off, let them know.

VOCABULARY #3

1.  accolade - a tangible symbol signifying approval or distinction
Example:  The accolades on his chest meant nothing to me; he had earned them in another time.

2.  acerbity - a sharp bitterness; a rough and bitter manner
Example:  Your excessive acerbity makes me want to punch myself in the face but in a good way.

3.  attrition - a wearing down to weaken or destroy; sorrow for sin arising from fear of damnation
Example:  Wrought with the attrition his parents had embedded in him, his mind was fracturing.

4.  bromide - a trite or obvious remark
Example:  Next time try to keep that bromide to yourself.

5.  chauvinist - a person with a prejudiced belief in the superiority of his or her own kind
Example:  Perhaps people would like you more if you were less of a chauvinist.

6.  chronic - being long-lasting and recurrent or characterized by long suffering
Example:  It was only with medical grade chronic that she was able to lessen the crushing weight of her chronic insomnia and achieve some degree of terrifying sleep.

7.  expound - add details, as to an account or idea; clarify the meaning of and discourse in a learned way, usually in writing; state
Example:  Can you please expound upon this ridiculously vague law that allows for state sponsored prejudice?

8.  factionalism - the breaking apart of a larger group into factions, smaller groups each with their own ideas/agendas
Example:  The innate factionalism of politics assures us that democracy is not possible.

9.  immaculate - completely neat and clean; free from stain or blemish; without fault or error
Example:  The are not as immaculate as you claim to be; I know what you have done and it is disgusting.

10.  imprecation - the act of calling down a curse that invokes evil (and usually serves as an insult); a slanderous accusation
Example:  Unbeknownst to them, my imprecations were not empty words; I had invoked the majestic power of Lucifer, who now held claim to their souls.

11.  ineluctable - impossible to avoid or evade:"inescapable conclusion"
Example:  I suppose this was ineluctable I thought to myself as the man in the white mask took a power saw to my legs.

12.  mercurial - relating to or having characteristics (eloquence, shrewdness, swiftness, thievishness) attributed to the god Mercury
Example:  Your mercurial nature suits you, but gets annoying after a time.

13.  palliate - provide physical relief, as from pain; lessen or to try to lessen the seriousness or extent of
Example:  The only procedure that could palliate the burning black cloud in her mind was taken from her by people who were intent on controlling her body.

14.  protocol - code of correct conduct; forms of ceremony and etiquette observed by diplomats and heads of state
Example:   Such a casual dismissal of protocol deserves a reprimand at the very least, but the officer responsible was instead placed on paid laid.

15.  resplendent - having great beauty and splendor
Example:  The resplendent forest was quickly turned into a desolate wasteland by men interested only in profit.

16.  stigmatize - mark with a stigma or stigmata; to accuse or condemn or openly or formally or brand as disgraceful
Example:  Because of his use of medical marijuana to alleviate his depression he was stigmatized by his family.

17.  sub rosa- in secret; privately or confidentially
Example:  We met sub rosa on the hill at midnight; it felt like the rest of the world was draped in fog.

18.  vainglory - outspoken conceit
Example:  This disrespect emanating from this vainglorious, self-titled cuber is really getting on my nerves.

19.  vestige - an indication that something has been present
Example:  There was no vestige at the bottom of the hill save for a dead rat; it was then that I knew if I stayed here I would die alone.

20.  volition - the act of making a choice; the capability of conscious choice and decision and intention
Example:  You don't have the volition to handle something with such big consequences; you only have the money.

Beowulf and the Modern Epic

          Beowulf is not a poem; it is a photograph.  It is a freeze frame of the values of the society from which it came.  Clearly, Beowulf is a Christian poem.  The religiousness of the era is on full display here, with pagans portrayed as evil.  As the first English language epic, Beowulf is an important jumping off point for examining the evolution of the epic.  In today’s world, epics are very highly regarded.  They have branched out in all directions in regard to content, but almost all of them share the same goal: to entertain.  Or rather, to capitalize on entertainment.  The greatest variation between modern epics and Beowulf is not in structure but in characterization.  Perhaps the most well-known contemporary hero is Harry Potter.  In comparison to Beowulf, Harry Potter’s strength is intellectual and not physical.  His character has a myriad of traits that serve as stark contrasts to Beowulf’s, yet the concept of heroism is similar in both.

            Heroic traits are reflective of the era in which they are from.  The vast differences between Beowulf and Harry Potter are a perfect example of this.  Harry is a modest person.  Though he has special abilities, he is a regular person.  Where Harry’s gift is magic, Beowulf’s is strength.  He does not fit the role of the “average human” as well as Harry does, but this is intentional.  He may come off as arrogant to a modern audience, but Beowulf was written in an entirely different period.  These traits of Beowulf’s were not excessively prideful; they were earned.  Beowulf was a hero who was able to back up his boasts.  Much as Beowulf has negative aspects to a modern audience, Harry would be viewed negatively by the audience Beowulf was written for.  He is not strong and is timid in the beginning.  He cares more about love than he does about fighting.  Yet the worst of all is the religious aspect.  Magic was seen as inherently evil by Christians at the time of Beowulf.  Wizardry is central to Harry Potter and it is portrayed as a tool for good, contrary to this viewpoint.

            Not only magic, but every pagan concept that clashed with Christianity was seen as evil by the authors of Beowulf.  Grendel is a monster; a murderous and uncivilized creature.  Pagans were viewed as being just as uncivilized by Christians, and were treated as subhuman.  The people who depicted extreme acts of violence in Beowulf did so while criticizing pagans for violence.  The violence in Beowulf was more than heroic for these people, it was godly.  Beowulf was killing evildoers who opposed his god; this was more than simply being honorable, it was holy through and through.  It’s easy to tell through reading Beowulf that the society that birthed it strictly adhered to Christian scripture.  Christianity was once as small as the pagan religions that Christians worked to erase from existence.  Moving forward this religion became massive and unparalleled in scope.  It would have been impossible for Beowulf to have had no ties to Christianity, yet the Harry Potter series was able to gain huge popularity without a big incorporation of religion into it.  Because of this Harry Potter, along with every other modern epic, was open to a much more diverse audience than Beowulf, which had no audience beside Christians.

            Beyond character, technology, and even language, the greatest change from Beowulf to a modern epic of one’s choice is the values held by the societies that they came from.  While Christianity is now a monolithic entity present in everyday life, it is no longer the sole element.  Where strength and victory were once the staples of a hero, smarts and kindness have replaced them.  The larger part of society has not embraced fundamentalist religion, which is similar in intensity to religion in Beowulf.  Society has experienced a shift in general ideas of morality as a result.  Because of the diversity of modern society, there is a wider range of what people think is right and wrong.  Though this range exists, there is still a primary set of morals that society accepts and pushes on those who disagree.

            Beowulf is the embodiment of first century values.  Through studying the text, one instantly gets a sense of the massive shift in what was considered morally acceptable then and now.  Modern audiences are exposed to a different kind of hero than Beowulf, such as Harry Potter.  Just like Beowulf, Harry Potter is a reflection of the society from which it came from.  Compassion is valued more than faith; intellect is valued more than strength.  What was once created for simple entertainment can now be looked back on by contemporary society as a piece of a puzzle that gives one insight into what life was like two thousand years ago.  Two thousand years from today, though print will likely not exist, people will look back on the epics of our time and use them to learn about society in this day and age.  Like Beowulf, any epic that accomplishes this transcends text; it becomes a photograph.

Follow through on post about officer who threatened to kill protestors while aiming an assault rifle at them

Remember one of the many videos released from Ferguson in which a cop wildly waves his gun at a group of peaceful protestors? And how about the cop who posted on Facebook that the protestors in Ferguson should be "put down like wild dogs?" Well now, neither of them has a job. The one caught on video was forced to resign, and the other was fired. It's rare to actually see this, as 99.999% of the time police who do something wrong are put on paid leave by their department until the situation blows over.  Police accountability is a huge issue.  It is obvious by now that police departments will make zero attempt to hold officers accountable unless an outside force puts pressure on them to do so.  Recording videos of police misuse of power is one of the best ways to fight it.  If you don't hold police accountable when you see them abusing their power, no one will.

Rushmore Scene

WILL STUDY FOR FOOD

I haven't been involved with scholarships very much at all so far. I've just put it off until later or filled out forms that seemed simple. I did actually get a scholarship that was a little over one hundred dollars for a bowling tournament about four years ago. I might have another hundred or so from another organization, but I'm not aware of any. So obviously this isn't going to get me very far and I've got to start applying for more.

Tonight I set up an account on this website called scholarships.com. After inputting a lot of information, it showed me a list with a bunch of possible scholarships. Almost all of the scholarships seemed completely hopeless; many were totally out of my reach while others were for things that didn't interest me at all. I'll continue searching for any that seem possible through scholarships.com for a while and see if any catch my interest.

Vocabulary #2

Accoutrements- an accessory item of equipment; outward forms of recognition Example: Her military vest was coated in accoutrements.
Apogee - a final climactic stage Example: The apogee of the film was disturbing in a great way. Apropos - of an appropriate or pertinent nature; by the way; at an opportune time Example: Your points are not apropos in this discussion, please stop.
Bicker - a quarrel about petty points; argue over petty things Example: Stop bickering over which sports team is better.
Coalesce - fuse or cause to grow together; mix together different elements Example: The band's sound formed a perfect coalescence of doom and black metal.
Contretemps - an inopportune occurrence or situation Example: Life is a series of contretemps that lead nowhere.
Convolution - the action of coiling or twisting or winding together; a convex fold or elevation in the surface of the brain; the shape of something rotating rapidly Example: A strange convolution rocked my skull, and I found myself enjoying it.
Cull - the person or thing is rejected or set aside as inferior in quality; remove something that has been rejected; look for and gather Example: The people were violently culled by their leaders.
Disparate - including markedly dissimilar elements; fundamentally different or distinct in quality or kind Example: The disparate nature of our political system makes democracy impossible.
Dogmatic - characterized by assertion of unproved or unprovable principles; relating to or involving dogma; of or pertaining to or characteristic of a doctrine or code of beliefs accepted as authoritative Example: You can believe whatever you want to about your dogmatic scripture, but don't shove it in my face.
Licentious - lacking moral discipline Example: They were very licentious because they only cared for themselves and did whatever they wanted to others.
Mete - a line that indicates a boundary Example: After you cross that mete don't be surprised if I shove you to the ground.
Noxious - injurious to physical or mental health Example: Though the medication treated the infection, it was noxious towards the patient's appetite.
Polemic - of or involving dispute or controversy(especially over a belief or dogma) Example: The polemic argument between the two groups will never end.
Populous - densely populated Example: The populous country began to experience a severe food shortage as time passed.
Probity - complete and confirmed integrity; having strong moral principles Example: The organization's self-proclaimed probity was shattered after the scandal.
Repartee - adroitness and cleverness in reply Example: Her repartee was so great that everyone in the vicinity laughed.
Supervene - take place as an additional or unexpected development Example: Hopefully no natural disaster supervenes our weekend plans.
Truncate - terminating abruptly by having or as if having an end or point cut off Example: The Fox News anchor casually truncated the guest's argument within ten seconds.
Unimpeachable - beyond doubt or reproach; not subject to blame Example: Stop spending the club's money on bulk cocaine deals; you aren't impeachable.